Little lioness
by Eponine Marie
Summary: Something dreadful must have happend to Hermione during the summer holidays after her second year as she returns to Hogwarts very changed and timid, starts wandering around in the castle at night and does no longer participate in classes. Minerva McGonagall is very concerned about her and tries to find out the reason. Trigger warning for abuse. Hermione and Minerva mentorship.
1. Poker face

Hey guys, I have written a lot of Harry Potter fanfictions since 2008 but this is my first attempt to do so in English. I love the character of Minerva McGonagall, I would have loved to have her as a teacher at school and I do think that she isn't as strict and unapprochable as she seems to be. This is my try to show her soft sides. The story will be a bit dark, may contain some triggers and my characters will have to struggle hard to get to their luck but I hope you will enjoy reading!

Disclamer: I do not owne the characters nor the magnificent world of Harry Potter! I do not earn money but only write for my (and hopefully also your) pleasure!

 _XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

 **1\. Poker face**

Heavy raindrops were pounding against the windows of the old castle. It had been raining so much during the last few days that the Black Lake was already overflowing and Professor Sprout had to protect the green houses from being floated. In one of the deserted corridors a narrow silhouette was standing in the subdued light of a torch that was hanging from the nearby wall.

A lightening cut through the night sky and lit the small figure of a girl with curly brown hair and a pale face. Hermione Granger tightened her dressing gown around herself and leaned her forehead against the cool window glass. She couldn't sleep and had yet again had bad dreams. She was feeling all numb, inside as well as outside, but her strategy to shut away her pain still seemed to work at least a little bit. Nevertheless she still was choked with fear as if two rough hands were clutching her throat, throttling.

"If you drop a hint, just the slightest one, you'll be dead" the hoarse whisper kept ringing in hear ears.

Something warm was running down Hermione's wrist but she ignored it as well as the tears on her cheeks. Nobody was here so nobody would realize and she was sick of fighting, sick of pretending that everything would be okay.

She had been so glad to return to Hogwarts after those horrible summer holidays but then she had met the first dementor in the Hogwart's Express. Of course Hermione had been able to pretend that this … thing didn't affect her as much as Harry but she had cried all night and since this very day, nightmares had started to haunt her nearly every night. Sometimes she woke up and forgot almost immediately what she had been dreaming about but other nights, like today, the pictures were taunting her so much she didn't bear staying in the dormitory any more and so she started wandering around at night. Normally she was taking Harry's Cloak of Invisibility but this night she had been so distracted that she had forgotten this special item.

Again, the scenes of her nightmare were rushing through her brain. "You are mine, never forget this!" he had whispered into her ear and had pressed her against the wall, one of his hands onto her throat.

Breathing very quickly she tore herself out of this memory. No, not again, not now! She had just banned this shit of her mind! More tears were running down her cheeks which she didn't notice.

It had been nearly three months by now that she was back to school, yet she was feeling like a ghost. She couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't concentrate and even had difficulties with learning! Yet she was afraid that this already had affected her results at school. Sometimes she felt her teachers looking at her in a very worried way.

Some weeks ago, Professor Flitwick had taken her aside, asking if there was something wrong, if he could help in some way. She had just shaken her head, not daring to meet his concerned regards meanwhile her heart had been beating heavily.

And her Head of House, Professor McGonagall, wanted to know last week if …

Another lightening tore the sky and startled Hermione out of her thinking, now illuminating the corridor in which she was standing. But this time she was not alone any more. There was a tiny tabby cat coming closer, she could see its mirror image in the window.

 _Shit! Speaking, er, thinking of the devil!_ Hermione thought. _This really is bad luck that McGonagall appears now of all times when I forgot the cloak!_ But she could not run away because the professor had already seen and for sure also recognized her so she simply turned around to face the tabby cat, waiting that it would transform into the human shape of her professor.

 _XXXXXX_

Minerva had been on her usual tour through the fifth corridor when her sensitive animagus senses smelled something that ought not to be there. No mouse this time but a human being, obviously a pupil, wandering around in the middle of the night while he or she should be in bed, sleeping. Minerva drew closer on her silent paws. When another lightening was flashing over the sky it was illuminating the pupil out of bed who was standing in front of a big window and staring out into the thunderstorm, his back to her. It was a small and frail looking figure with long dark hair. Who might that be?

At this thought the pupil turned around and Minerva recognized third year Gryffindor Hermione Granger looking at her with her eyes wide open. In a split of second Minerva had changed into her human body.

"What are you doing out of bed, Miss Granger?" she asked in a very strict voice.

"I … I couldn't sleep." The timid voice nearly was drowned in the next thunder.

"So you thought that you could just wander around in the castle? It is past midnight and in times like these it's not a very prudent thing to do." Minerva raised her eyebrows and tried to read Hermione's face but it was too dark in the corridor.

The girl didn't answer but simply shrugged.

Much too dark Minerva thought and raised her wand: "Lumos!"

The girl closed her eyes to the light then she wiped her sleeve over her eyes. Minerva thought to see tears on her cheeks. What might have happened that Hermione Granger started wandering around the school at night? Hermione Granger who was always that worthy when showing observance of the rules (well, until she was not under the influence of her two best friends, Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley, of course)?

"I am waiting for an answer, Miss Granger, as nothing gives you the right to be outside Gryffindor tower after closing time." She observed the girl sternly who straightened up and finally met her eyes.

"I am sorry, professor, I woke up from a nightmare and just wasn't thinking as I felt the urge to be on my own. I will not do it again."

Minerva felt her heart soften a little bit. She knew that it was not easy for such a clever girl to deal with her ignorant classmates particularly when being muggle born. Once again, Hermione Granger reminded her a little bit of herself being a school girl. Besides, the little witch has been petrified last year and maybe this experience still haunted her in her dreams.

"For this time there will be no punishment but you ought not to leave Gryffindor tower again at night. Not even with your two friends under the Invisibility Cloak." Minerva smiled a bit when seeing Hermiones shocked face. "If you feel speaking about your worries, I will be at your service. Come on now, I will escort you back to your common room." Minerva gently placed her hand on the girl's shoulder who flinched and stepped out of reach. Minerva was frowning: what was this behavior about? Hermione never had started on a simple touch!

 _XXXXXX_

Hermione heard Professor McGonagall's words like coming from far away. Talking about it? No way! _If you drop a hint you'll be dead._ She wasn't prepared for the soft touch. Before she could help herself, she flinched violently and automatically stepped backwards.

His hand that grabbed her shoulder, shaking her. His breathing close to her ear …

Panic, palpitations, gasping.

 _No, for heaven's sake, not know! Don't let her see your feelings, calm down …_ With one last effort Hermione managed to put on an inexpressive face. "No he can't read my poker face." She really hated this horrible muggle singer named Lady Gaga but this part of the song 'Poker face'* hit the target.

"Miss Granger?" The voice of her beloved teacher interrupted Hermione's thoughts.

"I … sorry, professor" Hermione whispered and hung her head. Doing so, her gaze fell upon her left hand. Oh no you could see something, bloody shit! Discreetly, Hermione tried to pull her sleeve down with her fingertips so that the black cloth would cover her wrist and fingers. _Look into her eyes and stop lowering your gaze!_ She told herself. _Your mask fits perfectly well and you know that!_ Hermione stretched her shoulders and looked Professor McGonagall straight into her emerald green eyes. "I am okay, nothing to worry" she lied coldly.

"Well, then I will accompany you back to Gryffindor tower" her Head of House replied sternly. "And there you will stay during night time instead of wandering around the school. If you have any problems you can talk to me. That's what we Head of Houses are for, you know."

"Yes, professor" Hermione breathed but she knew in the same moment that she would not be able to stick to that promise. Silently she walked beside the tall woman, her eyes straight ahead, her face put into a motionless mask of indifference even though her inside was burning with bad feelings and fear. Once in a while she felt her teacher's eyes lying on her but she ignored them.

Finally they reached the portrait hole where professor McGonagall turned to face Hermione.

„Well, good night then, Miss Granger, and sleep well."

Sleeping, pah! „Night, professor."

Hermione knew that her farewell sounded rather stiff but she was busy to hold up her poker face by every means. This was particularly difficult whilst being watched by her beloved teacher who obviously wanted to help her. Oh, how much Hermione wanted to talk to her, to cry for help but it simply wasn't possible. She had to deal with it alone and she would do so or die in attempt.

The portrait hole closed when Hermione heard professor McGonagall marching away. She felt as lonely as never before in her live. But she suppressed her wish to run after her Head of House and approached one of the windows instead which was still being hit by heavy raining. The thunderstorm, however, had stopped.

She did not know that Minerva McGonagall was wandering through the dark castle, her thoughts with the little Gryffindor girl. Why had Hermione Granger changed so much since the last year? The girl had always been timid and had not made friends easily (Minerva had watched her all through her first year and had been so happy when Hermione finally made friends with the two boys) but normally she loved saying a right answer and being the first one to be able to do a spell. And know? Know she avoided eye contact, flinched when being touched and nearly ever spoke a word, not even in classes! Other teachers had already confided their worries about the little Granger girl to Minerva asking her if she knew the reason. Actually, Minerva did not know but was eager to find out soon as she hated it when one of her cubs was suffering. Somehow she would reveal Hermione's secret and help the girl who was one of her favorite students.

 _XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

 _tbc_

 _*I know that Lady Gaga was not yet known nor a singer in 1993, but the lines of her song "Poker face" just fit that good that I chose using them._

 **Reviews and comments are very appreciated - thank you in advance for telling me what you think about this chapter!**


	2. Bad dreams

_Thank you for your nice comments and all those views, you are amazing :)_

 _As I have been asked: of course I will continue this story! I will try to update regularly, but as this story is not yet finished and as I am slower with writing in English than in German (my maternal language), I cannot promise weekly updates (nor once in two weeks' time)._

 _This time, we will get a closer look on Hermione's secret. I have invented a spell for this chapter, you will find its translation at the end. Hope you enjoy!_

 _XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

 **2\. Bad dreams**

"Last time you have learned this spell in theory so now you should be ready to practise it on the hedgehog in front of you. You will get an extra point for an exceptionally beautiful pincushion." Professor McGonagall's voice hit Hermione's ears from far away. She had headaches and her back was stinging as always when the weather was about to change. When she lifted her wand to do the spell, she felt a terrible ache in her right shoulder blade and knew at once that her old injury had opened again. _Damn it! Ignore it, just ignore the pain!_ she told herself firmly.

"Pulvillus verto*!" Hermione's hand trembled, the top of her wand pointed onto her quill instead of the little hedgehog that blinked at her sleepily. The quill transfigured into a small feather pillow. _Damn it!_ "Finite!" The eagle feather quill reappeared.

Hermione's sleeve was all wet at her shoulder and her skin felt taut, her hand shaking even more violently than before. The girl suppressed a yelp of pain as Harry accidentally punched into her right side.

"Everything alright, Mione?" he asked, watching her closely.

"Sure. Just tired" she lied, avoiding his green eyes. Harry was much more difficult to convince that she was fine than Ron who still seemed to be cross because she had bought Crookshanks. As if her big ginger cat would only be after Scabbers! It was in the nature of cats to chase mice and rats so her cat was not to be blamed!

Professor McGonagall was passing by, looking how they were proceeding with their transfiguration charm. She seemed rather surprised that Hermione hadn't yet managed to transform her hedgehog who had started to chew on her textbook and sniff the pages. Again, her professor's worried look hit Hermione but she decided to ignore it once more. Besides, she was distracted by another sharp pain rushing through her shoulder.

Hermione gritted her teeth. It had been in the last week of August that the girl had hit a glass door with her shoulder. The glass had shattered and various pieces of glass had been sticking in her shoulder. Wanting to avoid the attention on this accident, she had tried to pull out all splinters, but the wound refused to heal properly and used to break open now and then, especially when she had to use her right arm too often. Unfortunately, she was right handed.

She finally managed to transform her hedgehog into a pincushion with big efforts, yet she was totally exhausted after class. But instead of going to bed (as she was afraid of sleeping and having other nightmares), she hid in the library and buried herself in her homework. When closing time approached, Hermione went back to the common room where she continued to read until she finally fell asleep.

The door squeaked open and a tall figure appeared beside Hermione's seat. Smiling maliciously, the figure grabbed the girl around the neck, lifted her high in the air and started shaking her violently. "What did I tell you?" a man's voice hissed angrily. "You ought not to show any sign of abnormality! I really will need to teach you manners, you have been a naughty girl."

"No, please, I have told nobody, I have kept my poker face!" Hermione whimpered. "Please, I am a good girl, I will do anything you want! Please ..."

"Pleading does not help you." the man hissed. "Go on, in my office and remove your t-shirt." His face was hidden in the shadows but Hermione did not need to see it to recognize him at once. What was he doing at Hogwarts? She thought that she would be save at school, that at least at this place, he would not be able to find her! Trembling severely, she obeyed.

He pushed the petrified girl into a room next door and took his belt off. "Turn around, your back to me. If you whine or scream, it will be even worse as you very well know!"

When the first strike hit her bare back, Hermione woke with a scream, shaking so hard that she nearly fell off the armchair. Horror struck, the girl gazed around but only saw her cat Crookshanks lying in front of the fire place, purring loudly. _It has only been a nightmare,_ she told herself. _Just a stupid nightmare! He is a muggle, he cannot come close to Hogwarts, he won't even be able to see the castle! You are safe at Hogwarts, he cannot touch you here!_ Nevertheless she was shaking so much, she had to put her arms around herself to calm down.

After a while she was able to breathe normally, but still she could see him standing over her, lifting his belt. "You are a freak" she heard his nasty voice inside her head. "I always told your parents that you are not normal, that they ought to give you away but they would not listen to me. Luckily they have to participate in so many congresses that you have to stay with me meanwhile and I am able to show you your right place! You are a scum, a worth of space. You do not deserve to live or to be loved or even touched. Yet I will help you to become a woman! Isn't this nice of me?" She heard his laughter ringing in her ears and put her hands over them, suddenly getting sick.

"No, no" Hermione groaned, wanting his voice to shut up, to disappear. Suddenly she ran up to the bathroom, locked the door and only reached the closet in time to vomit.

Afterwards she was standing in front of the mirror, staring into her brown eyes that looked so tired and shocked. Her face was so pale she resembled Nearly-headless-Nick. Her body was thin and bony and ugly.

"You are a freak" she told herself, watching her eyes filling with tears. She hated her body, hated it so much that she wanted to destroy it, to smash it, to hurt it. It was her body's fault that his attention was drawn to her, her body's fault for what he had done last summer.

Suddenly Hermione was very calm. She had made a decision, something that would relieve a bit of her pain. She had done it before, first time during this summer, and it had helped. So why not doing it again?

 _I ought not to do so,_ she thought timidly.

 _There are many things that you ought not to do,_ another voice told her firmly. _You know that it will help you relieve your pain. Do it! Nobody will notice!_

Hermione opened the small case, took out a razor and placed it nearly gently onto her left forearm. The first biting of the blade was a shock but then it was easier and soon she felt a heavy weight been taken away from her heart. The girl cleaned the razor carefully, put it back and wrapped a cloth handkerchief around her wrist. Finally she went to bed.

 _XXXXXX_

Minerva McGonagall hid a yawn behind her hand. It had been a long night whilst discussing certain school matters with Albus and then finishing the correction of homework. She had been rather shocked to read the essay that Hermione Granger had handed in. Normally, the girl had a neat handwriting, a perfect orthography and grammar, and she wrote very long essays with important information, often followed by own theories or researching results. But this time, the essay was rather short and full of ink blots, spelling mistakes and crossed out lines. This was so very unusual that Minerva decided to talk to the girl after class the following day.

Minerva had to teach Gryffindor fifth year before lunch and was fuming after class as Fred and George Weasley had thought it funny to bewitch all tables so that they would transform into boiling tea kettles each time a classmate tried to use it for putting down notes. Even if she would never admit it in public, Minerva was rather impressed with the twins' magical talents, but nevertheless, the two boys had too many crazy ideas. Sometimes she was wondering what they would do after school and if they would ever be able to pass the O.W.L.s whatever subjects they would decide to learn.

She put the Weasley twins into detention with Argus Filch for this evening and then rushed down to the Great Hall for lunch. At the staff table she bumped into a really bad tempered Severus who complained once again about Neville Longbottom who had managed to blow up his fourth kettle in this term. The Head of Gryffindor sighed silently. Poor boy, Neville definitely was not a bad wizard, it was his lack of self-confidence that disturbed him, and him being too nervous, especially when being in the same room as Severus.

Minerva sat down and helped herself with potatoes and pumpkin pie. Her eyes were watching the Gryffindor table while she ate. Harry and Ron were talking excitedly, but Hermione only stared at her plate and from what Minerva could see, hardly ate anything. Soon the girl stood up, said something to her friends and left the Great Hall, nearly running. Minerva frowned but finished her lunch, then left for Gryffindor third year.

Once again, they were practicing with the hedgehogs as none of the pupils had yet managed to transform the little animal into a pincushion more often than once, not even Miss Granger which was highly abnormal. Minerva watched the girl closely as she waved her wand. Hermione looked worn out, very pale and her face seemed to be rather gaunt. Her right hand was shaking as she pointed it on the hedgehog and whispered the hex. Nothing happened. Was there something wrong with the girl's wand? Or did she have an injured hand?

Minerva watched the other students and started wandering around her classroom to have a look at her pupils' work. When she reached the table where Hermione was sitting, she found the girl with her head on her arms, fast asleep, the hedgehog curled into a ball in Hermione's fizzy hair. Minerva picked up the animal and shook Hermione's shoulders. "Miss Granger!"

The girl woke with a start and seemed to suppress a scream. Her gaze met Minerva's and the teacher's heart sank as she saw pure panic in the girl's eyes.

"I am sorry, professor" Hermione whispered and hung her head.

Minerva gave her a sharp look but did not answer. She returned to her desk and finished class, giving her pupils another essay to write. Hermione was about to leave with her classmates when Minerva called her back: "Miss Granger, a word please!"

She could hear the girl sighing as Hermione packed her things in her bag and waited for Minerva to speak to her. Minerva, however, thought the classroom not to be the adequate place for the subject she wanted to talk about.

"Follow me to my office, please." And there: "Sit down. Would you like a cup of tea?"

Watching her suspiciously, Hermione nodded.

With a flick of her wand, Minerva made two cups of tea appear out of thin air (well, actually she ordered them in the kitchen) and placed one in front of the girl who avoided her gaze.

"Well, Miss Granger" Minerva said while sitting down, peering at Hermione over her rectangular glasses. "I wanted to ask you what had happened that you have changed that much. Do not deny this! I have watched you during the last weeks and I have spoken to your other teachers. They are worried, too. You no longer participate in classes, you hardly ever talk and your homework is really sloppy" she continued, showing Hermione her last essay.

The girl was staring at the desk between her. Minerva could see her cheeks blushing. There was a long silence. "It is nothing, professor" Hermione finally replied. "I am just tired. And I didn't know that I was supposed to mime the perfect student and super know-it-all all the time!" she added a bit rebellious.

"Watch your tone, young lady" Minerva said sternly. "Of course you must not be the perfect student but nevertheless you _have_ changed and I am really concerned about your behavior and your state of health! Maybe the time turner puts you under too much additional stress? Never has a student chosen to take all subjects! I would therefor suggest you to return it to me."

"NO!" Hermione screamed, leaping to her feet. "I am fine. I will catch up with all classes and be the perfect student as you know me. I promise!" She ran to the door and was about to open it, when Minerva caught up with her, grabbed her left wrist and whirled her around. The girl let out a yelp of pain and Minerva felt the sleeve becoming wet. When she pulled back her hand, it was red.

"Miss Granger, are you injured? Why haven't you seen Madam Pomfrey?"

"It is nothing, professor" Hermione said, trying to hide her wrist, but Minerva forced the girl back to the seat.

"Your hand is bleeding too much to be 'nothing'. Show it to me!"

 _XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

 _*Pulvillus (latin) = small cushion; verto (from latin "vertere") = to transform_

 _~ tbc ~_

 _ **I am very curious to know what you think about this! Thank you for your comments and for reading and have a nice day!**_


	3. Compassion

_Thank you for your reviews, they really make my day every time I get one :)_

 _One of my guest reviewers wrote that both, Hermione and Minerva act a bit OOC. There is very much pressure lying upon Hermione's shoulders and I do believe that all those bad thoughts and memories can drive someone out of his or her normal behavior, so the girl is more rebellious than we know her of the books. As for Minerva, I am trying to show her soft sides which I think she is hiding rather good and showing only in rare opportunities (as for now in Hermione's case). I am trying to write a bit more about how Minerva feels and what she thinks!_

 _A little announcement: as I will be on holidays for the next three weeks, there won't be any new chapters until the middle of September. But don't worry, I assure you to keep on writing!_

 _XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

 **3\. Compassion**

Hermione's heart was beating really fast. Damn it! Professor McGonagall had noticed her bleeding wrist! The handkerchief must have slipped or something similar. Besides, her poker face was not as perfect as she thought it to be, as the teachers had already noticed that something was not okay with her. _Of course_ it was _not_! But she could tell no one, it simply was not possible. She needed to work on her behavior as she would not bear it to loose the time turner. Being so busy with all her classes kept her from thinking too much but she could not tell professor McGonagall this fact neither.

Panic-stricken, Hermione was thinking really quickly but found no way out of this situation. "I … I told you that it is nothing" she tried once again but her Head of House simply shook her head and stretched out her hand in a domineering manner.

"I want to see it" the older witch said calmly.

Hermione had no other choice. In slow motion, she laid her left hand onto the desk, permitting professor McGonagall to take it into hers and roll up the sleeve. Hermione looked at her knees, playing with a thread that was hanging from her skirt, blushing. Her head still down, the girl heard professor McGonagall gasp as the woman finally saw the fresh cuts, still bleeding slightly.

For some minutes, the only sound was the ticking of the big watch standing in a corner of the office.

"I … what have you done to you?!" Professor McGonagall's shaky voice broke the silence at last.

Hermione snorted impatiently. "I have cut myself, isn't that obvious?" she snarled.

"Watch your tone, young lady! And look at me while we are talking, will you?"

Reluctantly, Hermione lifted her gaze and met her professor's green eyes who looked very worried, shocked and compassionate. The girl suppressed a harsh "What else?" and bit her lips, pulling her left arm out of her teacher's grip.

"Miss Granger … Hermione" professor McGonagall went on, sitting down beside the girl. "What is haunting you so badly that it has driven you to hurt yourself? What is the matter with you, girl? If there is anything I can do ..."

At these words, Hermione unexpectedly blew a fuse and she did something she had never done before: she shouted at a teacher. "NO, YOU CAN'T!" she bellowed, shocked by her own outburst, but not being able to stop. "YOU HAVE NO IDEA, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE CALLED A DAMN FREAK, A WASTE OF SPACE!" To her horror, Hermione started to cry so hard, her body was shaking.

 _XXXXXX_

Minerva stared at the girl in a shock. Yes, she had wanted to provoke her a bit, hoping that Hermione would maybe admit what was bothering her so much. Yet she had not expected a cut wrist nor the girl crying so much. Miss Granger was normally known to be rather grown up and self-controlled. _Perhaps this is the problem_ , Minerva thought, while embracing the trembling girl gently, trying to comfort her. _She seems so mature that we all have forgotten her youth. The girl is only fourteen!_

Muttering consoling words, Minerva was stroking Hermione's head while the little girl cried her heart out. The older witch blamed herself for not having noticed earlier how serious the girl's problems seemed to be. What had driven Hermione so beside herself that she had seen hurting herself to be the only remaining possibility to reduce the pressure lying upon her?

Minerva sighed inaudibly. As a Head of House, she was used to listen to her students' problems, no matter what it was. She knew the signs when one of her cubs was struggling with bigger problems and when she spotted one of those behaviors, she normally asked for a private word with the pupil in question, trying to help if possible or to let the student being helped by other people. Yet there always were those who knew perfectly well how to act normally, as if nothing was bothering them. Those children who wore a nearly perfect mask like Hermione did.

Finally, the sobbing was dwindling away. "Here, take this." Minerva gave her handkerchief with red and green tartan to the girl who whispered a shy "thank you."

Minerva cleared her throat as the crying child had affected her feelings, too. "Now, tell me who is teasing you so much. Is it your classmates that call you a freak?"

To her surprise Hermione shook her head and dug it deeper into the woman's hug. "Not only. I am used to _them_ calling me a freak." The whisper came from between Minerva's arms.

The woman allowed the young witch to remain there, being hugged. When Minerva was honest to herself, holding the little girl so tight was warming her heart and she really enjoyed it. "Well, then, who is calling you a waste of space, if it is not the other students?" Minerva went on. "Not your parents, are they? They seemed to be rather nice to me when I visited your family to deliver your Hogwarts' letter over two years ago."

Again, Hermione shook her head. "N-no. It's … it's m-m-my uncle." The muttered words were hardly audible. "I … my parents often assist at c-conferences and they use to l-leave me with h-him. H-he hates me and always says such th-things. Never in their p-presence, though. I-I nearly spent the whole summer w-with him and ..." But here she broke off.

"Oh dear!" Minerva said, her heart growing heavy. "You ought not to believe the lies your uncle is telling you! You are a beautiful and talented young lady, the smartest witch I know and it simply is wonderful to teach someone like you! Maybe he is just jealous because he can feel that you are special. He does not know about your magical powers, does he?"

Again, she felt the girl shaking her head.

Minerva felt a sudden anger towards Hermione's uncle. It was a nasty thing to call somebody a freak but it was even worse to do so to a child, notably to a muggle-born child. Muggle-born witches and wizards often knew that something about them was different and they frequently thought that they were not normal, that they were freaks. Of course it was hard to hear this word from another person, especially from an adult who had the position of someone you could trust. No wonder that Hermione was so upset!

 _XXXXXX_

Hermione felt calm and comfortable in professor McGonagall's arms though she knew that neither this hug nor these feelings would last. Finally she felt the older witch back off a bit and she lifted her head to meet the woman's eyes.

"Do you feel better by now?" professor McGonagall asked in an unusually gentle voice.

Hermione nodded. Well, only now and only slightly. At least, it seemed that her teacher was accepting her explication and did not press on to know the real reason why she had cut herself. But besides all, those insulting words _were_ upsetting her, even though the other things were worse. And she, Hermione, had not broken her prohibition to talk about it.

"Well, we will go down to the Great Hall for dinner, shall we?" professor McGonagall said. "You have to eat more, you are much too thin!"

Hermione froze at once. "Look at your ugly body" his voice was sneering into her ear. "Much too thin and bony! Disgusting. You do not deserve to be loved nor to be touched. But as I am a nice person I will overlook those nasty facts about you and help you ..." _No, no, no, not now, not again!_ With much effort, Hermione managed to shut his voice away.

"Yes, professor" she breathed, unable to speak louder as she was afraid that her voice would shake.

Together, they went to the Great Hall and parted at the Gryffindor table where Hermione sat at Harry's side. To her great relief, Ron was not yet here as the ginger boy had been teasing her the last few days and she knew that tonight, she would not bear his presence.

"Is anything wrong with you, Mione?" Harry whispered while he pushed the chicken wings into Hermione's direction. "Is it because of Ron? I can talk to him if you want."

"Thanks but no. It is partly Ron … but I'm also very tired, didn't sleep well last night" Hermione replied, trying to sound as normal as possible, helping herself with chips and peas. "What?" she added as Harry continued peering at her.

"Dunno. It's just … you have changed since we returned to school. You are so quiet. You always say you need to study harder but then you do not seem to pay as much attention in class as usual. I am worried and I want you to know that you can rely on me. If there is anything I can do, you just say it!" Harry was leaning towards her for that their house mates would not be able to overhear their conversation.

"Oh, Harry!" Hermione flung her arms around his neck. "Thank you so much, it means a lot to me. But it's as I said, I am just … tired. Maybe I need some free periods to relax."

"Then you should take them, maybe this weekend?" Harry asked.

"I will" she reassured him. "But for now I will go to sleep" she said, finishing her dinner. "Good night."

"Night, Mione."

She could feel his eyes following her, as she walked between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor table. At the doorway, she nearly bumped into Ron but ignored him calling after her. For tonight, she had had enough, she was not ready for another confrontation.

Lying in her bed a little while later, she was rolling from one side to the other, thinking rather hard. It _had_ been a relief to admit how her uncle called her when he was angry. Maybe it would also help if she talked about the other, more … physical things? Perhaps professor McGonagall could help her in this matter, too! But what would happen if _he_ found out that she had talked? Over and over again she was thinking, until she finally fell asleep, having nightmares again.

Meanwhile, Minerva was sitting in her office in front of a warm fire, both hands clutched at a good cup of tea. She was thinking, too, repeating her conversation with Hermione Granger earlier this evening. She still felt the shock of seeing the fresh cuts on the girl's wrist. Of course she had healed them with a non verbal Episkey, but yet it _was_ something to worry about, to be deeply concerned. Not only because cutting in a human's wrist was highly dangerous, but also because there must be something that haunted the girl rather badly, something that Hermione hat not told her, she was sure. In fact, the girl had only told her a tiny part of what she really was hiding behind this poker face of her's. When Minerva thought about it … the cuts, the girl's behavior when being touched or asked whether anything was wrong (what obviously _was_ the case) … could it possibly be that there was not only mental abuse taking place (which was horrible enough), but also physical abuse?

 _XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

 _tbc._

 _Please let me know what you think about Minerva's reaction and the thoughts of both of the two witches. See ya all in three weeks!_


	4. Christmas worries

_Back from lovely holidays (some hiking in Austrian mountains and the visit of a marvelous medieval music festival, the Festival Mediaval), I have a new chapter for you and I do hope that you enjoy it. Thank you for your clicks and the review!_

 _XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

 **4\. Christmas worries**

Christmas was drawing nearer and on the first weekend of December, the castle woke up to find itself covered in snow. Minerva looked outside into the brisk snowstorm and smiled to herself. She loved winter time and she loved the snow that was enchanting the landscapes, softening rough reliefs and burying every plant under a soft and glittering blanket of snow.

Screams were soaring through the air as some students had already rushed outside to have fun.

When Minerva entered the Great Hall, Albus was beaming at her. "Finally snow!" he called out. "Oh, I really love those little snowflakes" he added, pointing happily to the ceiling of the Great Hall from which snowflakes were falling silently. "Fancy a cup of hot chocolate?"

"No, thank you, Albus, but you should know by now that I prefer a good Darjeeling in the morning!" Minerva replied, helping herself with some toast, while Albus was grabbing the teapot and poured some hot tea into Minerva's cup. "Thank you."

"You're welcome! Any ideas for this year's Christmas at school?" the headmaster asked her.

"No. Do you plan anything special?" Minerva raised her eyebrows as she knew Albus' crazy ideas. Her old friend was very fond of Christmas, it was his favorite time in the year, and he loved inventing 'special' events that mostly were crazy, too.

"Well, I have thought of ..." Albus started, but Minerva's attention was drawn to a small girl who had just entered the Great Hall and who was about to sit down at Gryffindor table.

Minerva had watched Hermione Granger for several weeks by now, trying to find out what the girl's problem was, not daring to ask her again, as she seemed to struggle so hard with her school matters. Yet Hermione had avoided Minerva's gaze and behaved as all teachers were used to. At least, Filius, Pomona and Aurora had admitted that Hermione Granger seemed to have got over what they had called 'her little teenage problems'.

Only Remus was not convinced by the girl's intents to pretend that everything was okay. He told Minerva of the incident during the practice in Defense against the Dark Arts where the students had to deal with a boggart. According to Remus, Hermione's boggart had taken the shape of a man who was stepping towards the petrified girl, inundating her with nasty swear words and threatening to beat her up, until Hermione had broken down, crying, and Remus had shut the boggart away and finished the class. Hermione had refused to talk to him afterwards, but Remus was confessing his worries to Minerva that this boggart might have shown a true situation and had begged her to take steps.

Minerva had tried to talk to Hermione for several times, but the girl had repelled every question, pretending that she was fine and did not need any help. As Minerva could not force the girl to accept help, her hands were tied although this fact was breaking her heart.

Minerva reached out to take another toast and met Albus' bright blue eyes that were scrutinizing her face. "Is there anything wrong, Minerva?" her old friend asked calmly.

The Head of Gryffindor House sighed silently. Sometimes it really was a curse that Albus knew her so well and that he always seemed to be up-to-date of what was going on in the castle. "Well, that is what I am trying to find out" she confessed. "There is something that bothers Hermione Granger really much and she won't tell me what it is" Minerva finished miserably. She hated it when she wasn't able to help someone in trouble.

"Ah, yes, I have been watching the girl, too" Albus said quietly. "It is good that you have taken care of her, she will need you. Give her the time she needs to trust you completely and then she will talk to you." The headmaster smiled at his deputy, finished his hot chocolate and left the table.

Minerva's gaze fell upon Hermione. She really hoped that Albus was right!

 _XXXXXX_

Hermione ignored the snow. Normally, she loved winter time but know she thought that the snow was too pure, too untouched to be stepped on by someone like her. Instead, she was happy to use a nearly empty library where she kept sitting after class and on weekends until it was time to return to Gryffindor tower. Madam Pince never disturbed her as she knew perfectly well that Hermione knew how to deal with all those books.

She felt inwardly torn. One part of hers kept telling her that she ought to go to professor McGonagall and confess her beloved teacher everything that haunted her. Another part was strictly against this plan, whispering her uncle's threats into her ear ("If you tell anyone, I will kill you. If they would know, they won't like you any more, they will call you a dirty little liar, a freak.").

Professor McGonagall had tried several times to talk to her, but Hermione had cut off all her teacher's questions, pretending that everything would be alright. Nevertheless, she suspected that her Head of House might guess something. The way the older witch looked at her … some of her questions … The thought that somebody, that her beloved teacher might have found out her secret drove Hermione wild. She thought she could not bear to look into professor McGonagall's eyes if the woman found out … found out what he had done.

As Christmas drew closer, another worry grew bigger. She would return to her parent's house during the Christmas holidays and she feared that her uncle might as well be there. Although she tried really hard to fight down her rising panic, it sometimes nearly got out of hand. Again, she lost her appetite, her nightmares were worse than ever and the longing to hurt herself grew bigger as well. Hermione was desperate, on one hand wanting to confess all her fears to professor McGonagall, on the other hand fearing nothing more than to be alone with her favorite teacher and maybe collapse in front of her.

Five days left before the holidays started, Hermione bumped into professor McGonagall while wanting to enter the library. Their eyes met for the split of a second, then Hermione hastily lowered her gaze.

"Good afternoon, Miss Granger" her Head of House said.

Hermione muttered a reply.

"So hard-working just before holidays? You will go home, won't you?"

 _Oh dear, why can't she just go and leave me alone?_ "Yes" Hermione breathed.

"Are you looking forward to spend time with your family? What are your plans for this year's Christmas?" professor McGonagall went on, staring at Hermione who carefully avoided the woman's gaze.

"Yes" she repeated. "M-my parents want to go skiing with me." _And they planned afternoon tea with my uncle, several times, for that this 'poor man' would not be alone around Christmas_ , Hermione thought bitterly.

She heard the rustling of heavy clothes as her teacher moved closer (she watched the woman's shoes) and then a low whisper that Madam Pince would not hear a word: "Are you sure that you are okay, Miss Granger?"

Hermione gulped nervously. Although she had had expected a similar question, it caught her out. No, she was _not_ okay, but why could professor McGonagall not stop asking those questions? She could not tell her, it simply wasn't possible.

"Yes" she replied in a very low voice, her own lie felt like slicing open her throat. "Nothing to worry about, professor."

When Hermione looked at her Head of House out of the corner of her eyes, the woman didn't seem to be convinced at all. Quite the reverse, she seemed deeply concerned, hesitated for a moment, then nodded slightly.

"I see, Miss Granger" professor McGonagall replied softly, in a very unusual voice. "If you change your opinion, you know where to find me." And she walked away, leaving a very confused Hermione behind who was close to tears.

 _You really should tell her!_ a small voice whispered. _She will be able to help you!_

 _No, no way,_ another voice said at once. _Have you forgotten what happens when you talk? Keep your head down and your mouth shut! Silly girl!_

 _But … it helped a lot when I told her that …_ the first voice tried to insist, but the other voice cut it off: _I said no! Stop thinking such stupid questions, stupid freak, and keep on studying!_

Hermione chased away the voices and finally went into the library.

 _XXXXXX_

Minerva was standing at the train station of Hogsmeade and watched the Hogwarts Express leaving towards London. The landscape was covered in snow and everything looked so peaceful. But the deputy headmistress's thoughts were far away, traveling with a little girl that sat in the train. Hermione Granger didn't seem to look forward to the holidays with her family, despite the words the girl had said to her.

Minerva hadn't managed to talk to the girl in private before the holidays and tried to calm down. Yet she was still very concerned about Hermione Granger and wished she would have insisted that the girl told her about her worries, although Minerva did very well know that in fact she could not have persuaded the girl to confess anything to her.

On her way back to school, the look in Hermione's eyes followed her. Before the girl had got on the train, she had been turning around, gazing at the castle, and their eyes had met for a couple of seconds. Minerva had been so shocked, she had not been able to say a word. The girl's brown eyes had seemed to have reflected a bit of the girl's haunted soul and her look had been a silent cry for help. By the time that Minerva had wanted to call Hermione back, the doors had already been closed and the train had started to puff steam and to move forward.

Minerva returned to school, deep in her thoughts and deeply concerned.

 _XXXXXX_

The train's breaks squeaked horribly and it came to a halt, tearing Hermione out of her thoughts.

"There we are!" Neville said happily, grabbing his suitcase and being ready to leave he compartment. Then he realized that Hermione hadn't moved. "Aren't you coming?" he asked timidly.

"What? Oh, sure, I need just a minute or so" Hermione replied. "You don't need to wait, though."

"Alright. Have a nice Christmas! See you in January" Neville beamed, waving at her, while trying to stop Trevor from hopping away and pulling his suitcase out of the compartment at the same time.

"Yeah, you too" Hermione murmured. _Okay, come on, your parents will be waiting for you!_ she told herself firmly. Straightening herself, she took her belongings (she had left Crookshanks at Hogwarts because she thought that the castle would be the better place for him) and left the train.

When she went through the barrier, there was no sign of her parents. Frowning, Hermione went into the main hall, but no signs of her family. This was very strange, her parents hated being late and she had written them her arrival time. When she had just decided to go to the waiting room, a hand was grabbing her shoulder, whirling her around.

"There you are, freak" the voice of her nightmares growled.

 _XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

 _Tbc._

 _A/N: I know, I know, this is a nasty cliff hanger BUT I Love writing them (not reading, though), so I couldn't resist. But I promise you to upload the next chapter in a week's time!_

 _Thank you for telling me what you think about this chapter and if you want to read more!_


	5. Christmas surprise

_Sorry for the long break, but life isn't always going the ways we would like to. Besides, I need to be in the right mood to write this story. Nevertheless, I thank you for those nice reviews and I do hope that you will like the following chapter. It's a little bit … well, you'll see._

 _XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

 **5\. Christmas surprise**

It was the day after Christmas and Minerva went down to Hogsmeade to have a drink at the Three Broomsticks'. The castle seemed too big during holidays, much too quiet and abandoned, without the usual amount of pupils running through the corridors, screaming and laughing. This year, only few children were staying at Hogwarts, though all four Weasley brothers among them and the Weasley twins were exhausting enough, in Minerva's opinion.

Many of her colleagues had gone home and Minerva was lurking for some company today. Albus was seeing an old friend of his this afternoon and she remained in the castle alone, with Argus as only company (and she wasn't very fond of the caretaker, to be honest) and Severus who's time was it to supervise the children.

It was snowing heavily so that she could barely see the path, and it was freezing cold. Shivering, Minerva pulled her scarf closer to her neck. As she was crossing the field that separated Hogwarts' grounds from the village, she was startled by a loud plopping noise. Minerva spun around in alarm, her wand in her hand, when a movement near some bushes caught her attention. Slowly and carefully, she drew nearer.

"Oh no, what have I done?" she heard a murmur from behind one of the bushes. "Where am I?"

She thought to know the voice. "Who is there? Show yourself!" Minerva barked, gripping her wand tight, lifting it in the air, ready to strike.

A shriek was her respond. The bush's twigs rustled and a small figure swayed in her direction. "W-who's this?" the figure whispered with a shaking voice.

"Lumos!" The light of Minerva's wand was falling upon the very white and rather familiar face of a little girl whose brown eyes were wide in shock. Hermione Granger was wearing Jeans and a light blue sweatshirt but no winter clothes which was rather strange as the girl normally paid much attention on what to wear in which weather. She had a black eye, a swollen cheek and dark marks on her throat. But Minerva was shocked most by the blood that covered the girl's sweatshirt, her hands and parts of her trousers.

"Merlin's beard! What has happened to you, Miss Granger? How did you get here?" Minerva uttered, looking at the little witch in alarm.

Hermione still seemed to be in shock. "I've killed him!" she stuttered. Then, without another word, she collapsed onto Minerva's shoes.

Minerva had reached out for the girl, but missed her for inches. She bent down, picked Hermione from the ground and took her into her arms. She was shocked to find out how light the girl was. Even in the state of unconsciousness, the girl's face looked stressed and from this close distance, Minerva realized how sunken Hermione's cheeks were. She was horrified and blamed herself for not having looked after the girl more carefully. What might have happened during those days between today and the day Hermione left Hogsmeade by train? How had she come here, without a broomstick or having taken the train? And how on earth did she have covered herself in blood? "I've killed him" the girl had said. Killed? Killed whom?

Quickly, Minerva returned to Hogwarts and brought Hermione into her private rooms behind her office where she laid the girl down onto her sofa. Minerva regretted that she was not very good at healing spells, but some minutes later she knew that the blood wasn't the girl's who had no severe injuries. She healed the bruises in Hermione's face and some bruised ribs, than she changed Hermione's clothes with a flick of her wand, sat beside the sofa which she had transformed into a bed and waited for the girl to wake up.

 _XXXXXX_

Hermione felt warm, comfortable and dozy. She did not know where she was but she allowed herself to remain some time without moving, just lying in what seemed to be a soft bed. Her thoughts were moving sluggishly through her brain when they were suddenly stopped by a terrible picture. Hermione opened her eyes wide and suppressed a scream.

She looked at a wooden ceiling with beautiful woodcarvings that she did not know. At her left side, a magic fire was burning. At her right side there was a painting of a small village hanging on the wall.

Her head was aching, her ribs tickled and she could still see this horrible picture. Of _him_. Oh no, what had she done? Had he already been found? Who would they blame? Where they already looking for her? Heaven's sake!

Hermione tried to leap up but felt too shaky. Then she realized a shadow sitting in front of her. She suppressed another scream, tried to crawl backwards but was stopped by a stone wall. Feverish, she felt for her wand but couldn't find it. Panic was rushing through her veins, she was starting to hyperventilate.

"Hermione, calm down, it is me" a voice said to her. It was a woman's voice and it sounded rather familiar to her. "Look at me" the voice continued. "You are with me, you are safe. Nobody can touch you whilst you are with me."

Trembling violently, Hermione looked up, directly into the green eyes of Minerva McGonagall.

"How are you feeling?" the woman asked her.

"Horrible." The word slipped out of Hermione's mouth before she could stop it, before she could pretend that she felt alright. But maybe this wasn't too bad? Maybe now she could tell her teacher …?

 _No way, shut up, you silly girl!_

"Can you tell me what happened to you?" professor McGonagall went on, her voice sounding unusually soft and kind. "You ran into me outside Hogsmeade, bruises all over your face, and covered in blood. Who hurt you?"

"I …" Hermione struggled with her inner voices.

 _Tell her!_

 _No, this is not possible. He will …_

 _He is not here. Just do it!_

She saw him again at the train station, waiting for her. Hermione had been expecting her parents but they had not been there. He had taken her with him, to his house. While she had been sitting on his sofa, watching him pacing up and down his living room, her thoughts had been thundering through her brain. Why had it been him to pick her up? Where were her parents? And then he had finally spoken. She had listened to his words without being able to understand. After he had finished, he had left the room whereas she had been sitting on the sofa all night, petrified, while she had finally understood the far-reaching consequences of the dreadful truth.

For some days, she had been captured in the feeling of living in a nightmare. She had not wanted to believe it, but he had shown her the proving facts, including the photos of their dead bodies. It was at Christmas day that he had been beating her for the first time after her arrival, trying to break the trance in which she seemed to live. And then, the following day, he …

"Hermione? What is happening to you?" her professor's voice interrupted Hermione's thoughts.

"They are dead" the girl whispered, looking at her trembling hands.

 _XXXXXX_

Minerva had been watching Hermione's face for several minutes. The girl seemed to remember something dreadful, her expression was tensed and so full of pain that it cut into Minerva's heart. When Hermione's hands began to tremble violently, the woman decided to intervene and called the girl's name.

Hermione's reply confused her. Who was dead? Carefully, she asked this question.

The girl still refused to look up. "M-my parents. They … they died in a car crash, two days before the holidays started."

Minerva was shocked. This certainly was a horrible thing but how on earth had Hermione covered herself in blood? "I killed him" the girl had said.

"Oh no" Minerva replied softly, her heart hurting badly. She wanted to hug the shivering girl but did not dare to do so as she was afraid the girl would recoil or jump. "I am so sorry to hear that. Who told you? Where have you been until today?"

"I-I … it was my uncle." The whisper was barely audible.

"Had it also been your uncle who gave you those bruises in your face?" Minerva carefully pressed on.

A tiny nod, hardly visible.

Minerva gritted her teeth, struggling hard not to loose her temper and to swear loudly. She wanted to kill the girl's uncle and she was angry with herself for having waited too long. Besides, a small voice kept telling her that this wasn't everything, that the girl was still holding something back, maybe the worst. How on earth could she have failed to see the signs of physical abuse? Of course, Hermione was really good in keeping her poker face and pretending that everything would be okay, but there have been signs, hidden signs, but signs she, as Head of Gryffindor house, should have seen.

 _Attention, now, woman, chose your words prudently if you want more answers! Do not pressurize the girl but keep on talking!_

"Is it also your uncle's fault that you were covered in blood?" Minerva asked softly, watching the girl closely.

Hermione's hands were shaking heavily, her whole body began to tremble. The girl grabbed the blanket to suppress the trembling but it did not work. Still avoiding Minerva's gaze, Hermione nodded again.

The older woman hold her breath. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

The girl shook her head. At the same time, her lips moved. "I killed him" she breathed.

Minerva wasn't sure she could believe her ears. "Are you telling me that you killed your uncle?" she repeated incredulously, watching the delicate creature in front of her.

Hermione lifted her head and looked into Minerva's eyes for the second time since the older woman had found the little girl. The latter seemed both, extremely frightened and a little furious. "Yes, indeed, this is what I kept telling you from the beginning!" Hermione snapped, looking shocked by her own outburst a second later. Hastily, she lowered her gaze and stared at her knees again.

Minerva took a deep breath; she knew that she needed to remain calm and strong if she wanted to know the whole truth (which she wasn't sure she really wished to hear but it was necessary; unavoidable to be able to help Hermione). So Minerva ignored her beating heart, her fear and her accusations against herself. She pulled herself together, cleared her throat and asked quietly: "Why have you killed your uncle?"

Hermione was clutching the blankets so tight that Minerva could see her white knuckles. Now the girl's body started to shake uncontrollably, her teeth chattered.

Minerva couldn't stand it any longer. Slowly, she stood up and sat next to the trembling girl whom she took into her arms. At first, Hermione froze in shock and Minerva felt a little movement as if the girl wanted to get away from her in the first place. But suddenly, two little hands flung around Minerva, grabbing her robes. Hermione pressed her face against the woolen cloth and started to cry.

The older witch didn't know how much time had passed by, but after a while, the heavy sobs got softer and the extreme tension in the girl's body diminished.

"He did things to me" a small voice said somewhere between Minerva's robes.

Minerva's heart started to beat quickly. "You mean, he hit you?" she asked softly.

"I was used to be beaten by him" the girl said, still talking to Minerva's robes whose heart was sinking at those words. "But he started doing other things."

Over the girl's head, Minerva stared at the fire without seeing it. Could it really be? "What things?" she asked in a trembling voice.

 _XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

 _Tbc._

 _I know, the chapter is a bit depressing but I hope that you enjoyed it nevertheless. I would really love to know what you think about it! Do you like it? Is the story too dark? Do you think it's bullshit? Should I continue?_

 _I will try to update sooner this time!_


	6. Confessions

_First, I need to say that I'm really sorry for the long break. But the birth of my son changed everything and put my life upside-down. As he is no longer a baby, I have once more the time to write and as I hate stories that never are finished, I decided to continue this one. I can't promise weekly updates, but I promise to finish this fanfiction._

 _Thank you so much for your constant reviews! I thought it rather hard to write this chapter, not only because I haven't written in English for nearly two years, but also because I was not sure to find the right words. I do hope I managed to put Minerva's and especially Hermione's feelings in the right words and that my English is not too horrible. If so, I beg you to apologize this._

 _Warning: as you might have thought (re-reading the previous chapter), this chapter is "tough talk" – trigger warning for abuse._

 _XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

Hermione felt warm and safe in professor McGonagall's hug. It had been good to finally cry and get rid of the immense pressure and fear that laid upon her since the last summer holidays. And then her Head of house had asked this precise question. Hermione gulped. She had known that this question would come, and she knew that this time, she would tell the truth. Nevertheless, she felt very nervous and tried to suppress another tremble.

When she finally spoke, she was talking once again to professor McGonagall's robes which she was still clutching with both hands, feeling the warmth of the woman's body and her consoling closeness.

"T-things that happen normally between two adults with the full agreement of both parties" Hermione said in a very low voice.

She felt ashamed and feared the reaction of her teacher. Maybe her beloved professor would now turn away, push her aside and tell her that she was a freak, a dirty scum? Maybe she even said that she, Hermione, could no longer remain at Hogwarts?

Hermione knew perfectly well what her uncle had done to her, she had known it from the very first time it had happened. But she was not able to say the word aloud nor even think it. She simply couldn't stand it. This word somehow made everything so real for her and this feeling hurt so much.

"But … but my uncle did those … those things to me without my permission, against my will" Hermione continued after some seconds of silence, trying to explain more clearly. "He … he kept telling me that, as a … as a freak who was hated by everyone, I must be … grateful that at least he would … would touch me. He said that I already look like a woman and he will … will make me a woman, physically. That he was doing me a … a favor." Now Hermione's voice broke and her stomach nearly turned.

Professor McGonagall still didn't say a word and Hermione started to fear that the older woman would be disgusted of her. But suddenly she felt herself being pulled into a very close hug and being rocked gently.

"My poor girl" she heard her teacher's whisper.

Hermione felt such a relief that her Head of House did not condemn her but was consoling her that she started to cry again. She cried for her parents over whose death she had not mourned yet. She wept over her lost innocence, her pain and fear that had accompanied her since the last summer. She cried all those tears that she had been holding back the last months.

When Hermione's tears dried up and she felt better and a lot relieved, professor McGonagall finally spoke to her.

 _XXXXXX_

Minerva was holding the crying girl in her arms and fought for her own composure. She felt torn apart, fumbling for the right words to say to Hermione.

The older woman knew that sexual abuse was happening more often than one would think and that the number of unreported cases was extremely high. If this subject was taboo in the Muggle world, this was nothing against the wizarding world where nobody even thought about sexual abuse. And yet it had happened twice during Minerva's period of Head of House that a pupil had confided in her and she, Minerva, had done her best to help the two girls.

 _Well_ , she told herself. _First, Hermione needs to calm down and stabilize. Then I'll ask for more details. It is important to know if the uncle really is dead._

When Hermione's sobs were finally dwindling, Minerva cleared her throat.

"First, you must know that nothing of those awful things that happened to you are your fault" she said. "Oh yes" she continued when Hermione lifted her head and finally looked at her, wanting to contradict, "I know that your uncle told you so, but you must not believe him. You are no freak nor are you dirty or marked. On the contrary, you are a remarkably strong young woman who suffered a lot but did not give up. A real Gryffindor, a little lioness." Minerva smiled at the incredulous look on the girl's face. "I am impressed how you managed to deal with such sorrows for such a long time on your own. But you are no longer alone, I will do everything I can to help you."

"You will?" piped up Hermione. "But I'm a murderess!"

"No, you are not" Minerva told her firmly. "Even if you might have killed your uncle, you did this in self-defense." With a flick of her wand, she ordered some tea. "Do you want to tell me what had happened before you came to Hogsmeade?"

"You … you are not disgusted at me?"

"What?" Minerva cried out, feeling both, shocked and sorry. "No, not at all. As I told you, nothing was your fault!"

Hermione was watching her closely, her hands clutching her cup. Then she seemed to pull herself together.

"He beat me with his belt at Christmas day to help me to overcome my grief, that's what he kept yelling" she said flatly. "The following day he cornered me in the kitchen. He … he …" Hermione broke off and gulped, not knowing where to look at. "He told me that now, with my parents dead, I won't be going back to that stupid boarding school. Instead, I would be staying with him, keeping the house, being his …" She broke off again.

Minerva was feeling sick. She wasn't sure if she wanted to hear what had happened, but she knew that it was necessary to know to be able to help Hermione. So, she stretched out her hand and laid it upon Hermione's whose was cold as ice. "Go on" she said gently.

Hermione gulped again. "He said that I will like it after a while" she whispered, "the … the things he kept doing, that it was only a question of … of practicing it often enough. And that … that … I can't tell you" Hermione groaned, burying her face in her hands.

Minerva's heart was hurting as she watched the girl's struggles. "Why not?" she asked calmly.

"It will shock you and you'll think bad of me. And … and I'm … I'm so ashamed."

Hermione still refused to look up, so Minerva put a hand under the girl's chin to make her look into her eyes.

"There is nothing to be ashamed of, Hermione! As I kept telling you, nothing was your fault! And I'm a lot older than you, I've heard and seen many things, good ones and bad ones, you won't shock me that easily." At least she hoped so. "Tell me everything!"

 _XXXXXX_

Hermione was fighting with herself. She had already told her beloved professor that her uncle had kept, well, doing those _things_ to her, so she would go on. Her face was burning, and she knew that she must have blushed heavily with embarrassment. Oh, she would have given everything for the ground to open and swallow her, but she was a Gryffindor and Gryffindors were known to be brave. So, she tried to ignore her shame and took a deep breath.

"He cornered me in the kitchen, saying he had the … the hots for me and that I should remove my trousers and … and pants. When I refused, he … he grabbed my throat … I pushed him away and took a knife, threatening I would stab him. He laughed at me, saying I would not be able to do so. He pressed his lips against mine and …" Hermione broke off and closed her eyes. She felt his hands grabbing at her breasts, smelled his sweat and his lust. Her breath quickened, and it was hard not to vomit or hyperventilate.

"Hermione" said a gentle voice she was knowing. "Hermione, it is over, he cannot touch you anymore. You are here, at Hogwarts, with me, Minerva, and you are safe."

The girl opened her eyes wide and looked in professor McGonagall's face who gave her a sad little smile and carefully squeezed the girl's hand. "You do not have to continue if you are not able to."

"No, I will" Hermione said furiously, wiping away her tears and clutching her fists. "I felt his … his erection pushing against me, his hands grabbing for my trousers. So, I pushed him away again, but this time I had the knife in my hand. It hit him at the shoulder, cutting through his t-shirt. He was stumbling backwards, yelling, pressing his hands against his bleeding wound. When he looked at me, his gaze was dreadful and suddenly I feared for my life. He threw himself at me, knocking me from my feet, trying to … to strangle me and I … I lifted the knife and pushed it into his face. He was rolling off me, screaming. I got to my feet and ran, out of the house, down the road, into a park nearby. When a police car was drove past me I panicked, wishing so badly I could return to Hogwarts. Suddenly I felt as if being pressed into a very narrow tube, I thought I was having a heart attack or something similar. And then a very cold wind was making me shiver. I opened my eyes, and everything was snowy. The next thing I heard was your voice."

Hermione had been talking faster and faster, her last words were hardly understandable. She forced herself to look at professor McGonagall, wanting to see her reaction, fearing the older woman would condemn her or call her a murderess.

"Maybe the muggle police are already looking for me" she mumbled, feeling chocked and numb with fear and cold that did not come from the outside.

 _XXXXXX_

Minerva had had difficulties not to get into a rage whilst listening to Hermione's story. She felt so sorry for the girl that she thought her heart might break. Oh, she wanted to hex this uncle so badly that not even his own mother would recognize him afterwards! Lamentably, this would be against the Ministry's laws as the uncle was a Muggle.

 _Calm down_ , Minerva told herself. _It won't help Hermione if you let your anger roll over you. Calm down, she needs you_. Was it possible that Hermione had apparated to Hogsmeade? Minerva wondered. She knew that there have been very talented witches or wizards in the past who had been able to apparate and disapparate without having learnt how to do so. Maybe she would find out.

She took a deep breath and pulled herself together.

"Hermione" she said, "as I told you, you are safe with me. I won't let the police get near you and I won't let your uncle touch you again, if he is not dead, but we will find out this fact later. I tried healing your bruises, but I am no healer. Du you have other injuries?"

"Just … just some old ones" Hermione mumbled.

"Maybe we should go to Madam Pomfrey that she could …"

"NO! I do not want anybody to see … to see me." Hermione leaped to her feet, ready to fight or run away.

Minerva held up her hands in a soothing way.

"Don't panic, Hermione, it is okay. Maybe we can see Madam Pomfrey later, she could help you much better than I did. Just think about it. I suggest that you sleep in my guest room tonight. We will not tell anybody that you are here. Just give yourself a rest, try to get some sleep and tomorrow, we can talk about other issues. For tonight, it is too late, and you are too tired. I have here a potion for dreamless sleep I want you to drink."

Hermione had listened with her eyes wide open. She nodded and followed Minerva to a small but comfortable guest room in the colors of the McGonagall clan. Minerva showed the girl the bathroom and flicked her wand. Pajamas and toiletries appeared out of thin air.

When the girl had finished her washing and had changed, Minerva gave her the potion which Hermione drank in one gulp, sinking back into the pillows and falling asleep instantly.

Minerva stayed for a while beside the girl's bed, watching her sleep. Even then she looked troubled. The older woman sighed deeply and went to bed herself. Tomorrow would be a hard day!

 _XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

 _Tbc_

 _So, what do you say? Is it realistic how I described their conversation and feelings?_


	7. The next day

_Hey, guys, here comes the new chapter for you! It took a while as I'm soooooo slow writing in English, and I found it rather hard to go on, to describe the thoughts and feelings of both, Hermione and Minerva, but I managed to finish the chapter and I hope you like it._

 _As I'll be on holidays a great part of September, it may be that the knew chapter will only be published in the beginning of October._

 _XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

When Hermione woke up, she was rather confused, not knowing where she was. Then she remembered yesterday's happenings. Shivering with shock and fear, she had to throw her arms around herself to stop herself from panicking. _You are at Hogwarts_ , she told herself firmly. _You are safe._

A soft knock at the door made the girl jump so badly that she fell out of bed.

"Hermione? Is everything okay?" she heard her mentor's voice.

"Yes, I'm coming!" she called back, getting up from the floor and quickly pulling on her robes. Hastily, she tried to comb her hair but failed, so she just put it into a plait. After washing her face (refusing to look at herself in the mirror), she left her professor's guestroom.

"Good morning", she said shyly to her Head of House.

The older woman smiled at her. "Good morning, Hermione. I hope you slept well?" And after she nodded: "I have ordered breakfast from the house elves. We will eat in my living room. Come on, this way!" Minerva led her young guest to the tabled set for a big breakfast.

They ate in silence. Minerva watched the girl closely, suppressing a sigh. This certainly would be a hard day for the little girl as the next measures needed to be called into play. She hoped that Hermione was stable enough to get through the day.

The girl, on the other hand, was trying to avoid her teacher's eye, staring at her plate instead. She did not feel hungry at all, still being numb with fear, but she forced herself to finish at least her porridge, knowing that she would collapse if she didn't eat a little bit. Despite her professor's words, Hermione still wanted to die from shame.

"Are you finished?" professor McGonagall's voice disrupted her worried thoughts.

"Yes."

"Well then." Her Head of House flicked her wand and the plates vanished, leaving a clean table behind. "We need to talk, Hermione, as you might have thought. Will you please sit down at the sofa, there are some matters that need to be discussed."

"O-okay." Shivering, Hermione did as she was told.

Noticing the girl's fear, Minerva put a consoling hand onto her shoulder. "There is nothing to be afraid of, Hermione. But as you are an underage orphan now, we need to talk about your future."

"I will not go to live at my uncle's!" Hermione shouted, not knowing when she had jumped up, her hands clutched to fists.

"You will not have to, calm down, please!" Minerva reassured the disturbed girl. "Just listen to me, will you? Our ministry has its own department for Magical Child Care. As you are a witch, I sent an owl yesterday to receive further information. Mrs Wanneroo from said department gave me detailed information. As you are over fourteen years old, you can choose where you want to spend the remaining years until you come of age. You have the possibility to go to an orphanage for magic children, or to take one of the foster families that will be chosen by the Ministry of Magic. It is even possible to be adopted, if you wish to be. As for your uncle" she reached out to take the girl's hand who had winced rather badly at those words, "I sent someone to check on him. Don't panic, nobody knows why or that you are related to your uncle. When this person had arrived at your uncle's house, your relative was not there anymore, nor his dead body. So, my, well, spy did a bit of research and found out that your uncle was in the hospital. He might lose one eye, but he will definitely survive your self-defence. So, nothing to worry in this matter. Of course, you can report him to the muggle police or the aurors if you wish to. What he did to you was a crime, you know that, don't you?"

Hermione looked at her in a stubborn way. "Of course, I do" she whispered. "And I do know that what he did was … was rape." The girl gulped and closed her eyes for a moment to suppress her tears. "I do not want to report him because if I do, I will have to tell what I told you yesterday in public and I can't stand this. I simply can't!" Now she was close to tears, rubbing her eyes hard.

"Shshsh, it's okay, you don't have to", Minerva told her cub softly, pulling the girl into a close hug. "Don't worry about that."

"But what if _he_ goes to the police to get me back? I know that my … my parents wanted him to be my guardian if anything ever happened to them!"

"Oh, I don't think that he will do that" Minerva said coldly. "You see, I plan to send somebody to your uncle, somebody who will persuade him to sign a form that allows you to make your own choice. I only need your permission to talk to that person. We will also need to inform professor Dumbledore that you are at Hogwarts."

"What … what d'you want to tell professor Dumbledore? And whom do you want to send to my uncle?" Hermione piped up.

"I would tell professor Dumbledore the truth, but this is up to you to decide. He just needs to know that you have fled from your uncle and that you want to choose another guardian. As for this person … you know, professor Snape is very convincing at such matters! He doesn't need to know everything, just that your uncle beat you. That will be enough, I assure you. What do you say?"

As Severus himself had been beaten by his own father as a child, Minerva knew that he would visit Hermione's uncle at once and threaten him to death as only a Severus Snape could do.

"I … I don't know." Hermione buried her face in her hands. She didn't want to see anybody, she just wanted to lie down and die in some faraway corner. _You are a Gryffindor_ , she told herself strictly. _A lioness doesn't give up like this! Stand up and fight!_

"When will we meet the headmaster?" she askes shyly.

"I can send him a message immediately, if you are ready" her Head of House replied.

Hermione took a deep breath. No, she wasn't ready, but she wouldn't be even though she'd wait ten years. "O-okay."

Minerva felt so incredibly sorry for this strong little girl that she thought her heart might break. But those things needed to be discussed as soon as possible. Shutting such happenings away wouldn't help at all, it would just make things worse. Confronting it hurt a lot but it would help Hermione to heal. The witch stood up, scribbled a note for Albus on a piece of parchment and threw it into the flames. With a whoosh it was gone. When she returned to the sofa, Hermione looked at her in a resolute way.

"Okay for professor Snape. But please, only tell him I was beaten. Which is the truth, but not all of it."

"I will do so. You'll see, professor Snape will bring back the signed form without any problems and you won't have to see your uncle ever again." Minerva reached out and squeezed the girl's hand. "There is another thing … I assume you've already got your menstruation?"

Blushing heavily, Hermione nodded, fearing the next words.

"I am sorry to have to ask, but you are not pregnant, are you?" Minerva went on, knowing of her cub's embarrassment but she needed to exclude this horrible possibility.

Hermione wished so hard to vanish that she thought she would die of shame. "I am certainly not" she replied flatly. "I've had my menstruation various times since he … besides, I've taken the EC after each time he … he … you know."

"EC?" Minerva wondered.

"This is short for emergency contraceptive pill" Hermione whispered. "I went to the apothecary to get it, lying that I'm already of age.

"I see" Minerva said, admiring the muggles for their inventions to live without magic and potions. "I am really sorry to probe on this matter, but … I only want the best for you, you know that?"

"Yes." Hardly audible.

"Yesterday you said something of 'old injuries'. Do they still hurt?"

Hermione thought of her shoulder where she thought that there were still splinters of glass sticking in it, under the healed skin. "Sometimes."

"Maybe you should see Madam Pomfrey?" Minerva offered. "I accompany you, if you wish."

The girl was fighting with herself. On the one hand, she didn't want anybody to see her, to look at her naked body. On the other hand, her shoulder hurt a lot when she moved too much, and she was right handed.

"Madam Pomfrey is the most discrete person I've ever met. Besides, she had to solemn an oath when she graduated, swearing she would keep all of her patients' secrets." Minerva stood up, offering Hermione a hand who accepted. Together, they left Minerva's office and walked along the corridor in direction of the hospital wing. The elder witch knocked and opened the door.

"Coming!" a voice cried out of a distant corner. Seconds later, the nurse was bustling in sight. "Oh, hello Minerva. What can I do for you?" she asked.

"Hello Poppy" Minerva replied. "It's Miss Granger here. She says she has an old injury that still troubles her sometimes."

"Well then, Miss Granger, follow me, please!" Madam Pomfrey led the way to an examination room that looked a lot like the ones of muggle doctors. "Should professor McGonagall leave?" Hermione shook her head. After exchanging a look with the other woman, the nurse shrugged. "So, where does it hurt?"

"Right shoulder" Hermione told her, knowing that now both witches were about to see all the scars at her back. However, she didn't care anymore. After she had told professor McGonagall of her uncle raping her, she thought that there was nothing that could shock her mentor any more. "I had … sort of an accident last summer. I fell through a glass door and it crashed but I don't think that I've been able to remove all splinters."

"Would you please take off your robes and t-shirt?"

Taking a deep breath, Hermione removed her clothes and turned her back to the two women. She could hear two gasps of shock and closed her eyes.

"Who did this to you, Miss Granger?" Madam Pomfrey asked.

"My uncle" she said emotionless.

"But …" The nurse broke up, reaching for the girl's back who stiffened at her touch. Examining the shoulder, Madam Pomfrey went on: "Are you sure this injury was an accident?"

Hermione hesitated, then decided to tell the truth. "No, he pushed me" she said simply. "I talked back, he got angry and then he pushed me. When he saw me lying in the glass splinters, covered in blood, he just left the house."

"Oh, my dear girl! Well, let's deal with this."

Hermione felt a soft touch of the wand on her shoulder. It was tingling and stinging, getting first very hot and then very cold, before it felt normal again. And, best of all, it did not hurt any longer. "Thank you" Hermione said intending to stand up and leave.

"Hold on, I want to examine you more closely, if you allow. If you would lie down, please. Minerva, you wait outside!" Vigorously, the nurse waved her hands and her wand, murmuring words under her breath.

Her patient felt very nervous, fearing what madam Pomfrey would discover and if she could see that she, Hermione, was no virgin any more. Feeling ashamed and frightened, Hermione closed her eyes and waited that everything was over, wishing suddenly very hard that her Head of House would still be with her, holding her hand. _Don't be silly, you are no little child!_ she told herself strictly.

Finally, madam Pomfrey allowed the girl to sit up, directing her to a seat in front of her desk, looking at her earnestly. "Well, they really played the devil with you, Miss Granger" she said. "You are underweight and had several broken and badly healed ribs that I had to fix. I am sorry, but the scars on your back can't be cured. Has this been your uncle, too?"

Biting her lips, Hermione nodded slowly, waiting for the next words to come.

"Did he … also touch you in other ways? I mean, did he indecently assault you?" The nurse pressed on, causing Hermione to roll her eyes.

"You mean if he abused and raped me?" Hermione asked in a harsh voice, not wanting to be handled with kid gloves anymore, looking openly at the elder witch. "Yes, he did."

"Did you tell anybody? If not and you wish you could talk to me."

"Thank you but no. I told her, professor McGonagall."

"Very well. I ask you to take these potions to help your body heal properly and to eat your meals regularly. If you need anything, if it is a medical advice, a new potion or simply somebody who listens to you, feel free to come here."

"Thank you" Hermione replied. Then she left the room to look for professor McGonagall who was waiting outside.

"Professor Dumbledore is waiting for us" she said.

 _XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

 _Tbc_

 _What do you say? Is Hermione too calm in the end or is this realistic?_


	8. Hope

_Hey there! After some really nice holidays in France (no, I haven't found Beauxbatons), I'm back with a new chapter for you! I hope you do like it. Enjoy!_

 _XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

„ _Professor Dumbledore is waiting for us" she [professor McGonagall] said._

Hermione gulped. Her heart was thundering against her ribs as if it was about to flee. "What … what shall I tell him?" she asked wanting to run away and hide.

Her Head of House took her hand and squeezed it. "Whatever you want to share. What he should know is about your parents as the people of the Magical Child Care will probably also contact professor Dumbledore being the headmaster of your school."

"Well … okay." Feeling childish but needing to know she was not alone, Hermione took her teacher's hand as they walked together in the direction of the tower where Dumbledore's office was.

Minerva felt the girl's hand shaking slightly and looked at her protégé out of the corner of her eyes. Hermione was very pale, her brown eyes appeared much bigger than usual, she apparently bit her lips. Minerva wondered what the girl might think at this very moment. She wasn't sure whether it had been a good idea having planned all those measures for today. On the one hand she thought it was easier to handle if everything was over quickly. On the other hand, she was afraid to overtax Hermione as the girl's state was rather delicate and she did not seem very stable.

"Sugar quills" Minerva said to the gargoyle that eyed her suspiciously for a moment before jumping away, revealing the door behind it. The two witches stepped onto the stair that carried them upstairs.

"That's like an elevator" Hermione whispered under her breath, thinking of the spells that must have been put on the stairs.

"Sort of" Minerva replied with a little smile, pleased that for this moment the girl had forgotten her troubles. But then they had arrived and when she knocked at the door, Hermione looked once again timid and frightened, though with a determined expression.

"Enter" a deep voice said and the door swung open.

Fascinated, Hermione stared at the headmaster's office, entering this miraculous place for the first time. It was circular and packed with the most curious objects she had never seen before. Most walls were hidden behind large bookshelves that touched the ceiling and were full of books. She longed to step closer and touch the books, inhale their smell, flick through the pages, forgetting the world whilst reading.

"Good day, Minerva, Miss Granger" professor Dumbledore said, causing Hermione to start. She had completely forgotten his presence as she had been so distracted by all those wonderful books.

"Hello, professor" she replied shyly. "You have the most amazing collection of books!" she added excited, pointing at the shelves. "There must be thousands of them!"

The headmaster chuckled at the girl's sweet behaviour. "More than thousand, Miss Granger, although it has been years that I did not count them. And I'm glad Madam Pince doesn't know of the state of some of those books" he added in a whisper, winking at Hermione. "You know, I like a cup of hot chocolate whilst reading and it happened in the past that I knocked it over. Madam Pince would kill me if she knew! So, you'd better keep this little secret to yourself."

"Of course, I will, sir" Hermione said, smiling. Then she remembered why she had come here and immediately got earnest again.

Noticing this change, professor Dumbledore gestured towards his desk. "Take a seat, please. Do you fancy some hot chocolate, Miss Granger?" Timidly, the girl nodded. The headmaster flicked his wand and a tray with two cups appeared out of thin air. "Do you want professor McGonagall to stay?" he asked.

Hermione shot a look at her Head of House, feeling safe in her presence. "Yes, please." The elder with sat down at her side, opening her mouth.

Professor Dumbledore held out a hand. "Just allow me to get you some tea, Minerva" he said kindly, waving his wand again. Seconds later, his deputy was holding a large cup of Earl Grey. "So, there is something that needs to be discussed, I assume."

The woman and the girl in front of him exchanged a look. Hermione felt frozen and momentarily unable to speak which Minerva seemed to notice, as she began: "Indeed. Miss Granger here had planned to spend the Christmas holidays at home. Yet she has returned to school yesterday as she had been told that her parents …"

"They died in a car crash" Hermione interrupted, suddenly wanting to say it aloud. "And I will not stay with my uncle."

The blue eyes of the headmaster seemed to have lost their brightness. "I am really sorry to hear this, Miss Granger" he said. "I know that words are of no use in such a situation, but I want you to know that I feel with you." Hermione nodded. "You have no other relatives expect for this uncle, I assume?" he went on.

"No, I haven't."

"I have already informed Miss Granger about the possibilities that she has in our world. I even wrote to the Magical Child Care to get some further information. I only wanted you to be up to date" the deputy headmistress said, trying to protect Hermione from too much stress.

"I see" professor Dumbledore said. "Then I will write to them, too. Miss Granger, this is an important decision that needs to be well thought out. Take your time to feel what will be the best for you. Professor McGonagall and I are most willing to help you wherever we can."

"Thank you" Hermione whispered. She started to have headache and felt dizzy and sick. The circular room was rotating around her. She closed her eyes, pressing her hands against her stomach to stop herself from vomiting. Minerva looked at her protégé in alarm and reached out for her, but she was too late: the girl collapsed and fell on the ground.

Gently, Minerva lifted the girl up and lied her onto the sofa that Albus had just created out of thin air. "Oh dear" she said. "I should have cared better for her, that was all too much. I will call for Poppy to take care of Miss Granger." She threw some floo powder into the chimney and called for the nurse who stepped into the headmaster's office some minutes later, cast one glance and the unconscious girl and took her with her to the hospital wing.

Albus sat down behind his desk, eying his old friend closely. "Tell me the truth, Minerva. There is more, isn't it? It's not just the death of Miss Granger's parents which would have been horrible enough. There's something wrong with this uncle she has mentioned."

Minerva sighed and sat down again. Albus had always had the talent to sense problems even if they were not mentioned. "You are right as always" she admitted. "But you must not ask me for more details as I have sworn not to tell anybody."

"So, she _has_ talked to you? That's good. Only if you break the silence and spit things out, healing can start. You are taking steps, don't you?" And when Minerva nodded: "Very well. If you need help, you know you'll always get it. Even if you need somebody to give you an alibi" he added, winking at her.

Minerva laughed, but it was a bitter one. "Well, thank you for that, Albus, but I won't curse him even if he would have deserved it very much. Let's see what we can do for Miss Granger at the Magical Child Care."

"Ah. You don't possibly plan to offer yourself as her guardian?" Albus wanted to know.

Minerva blushed, feeling rumbled. "You clever man", she joked. "Yes, I wanted to do so, but I don't want to say anything to Miss Granger unless it's not sure I would be accepted. I don't want her to hope for something that would not work in the end."

"I am sure there won't be a problem with that" Albus said thoughtfully. "You are a highly respected member of the wizarding community, teaching at Hogwarts for years, and you have enough space to take a young girl to your home." He reached for the bowl with the Shebert Lemons, taking one yellow candy out and putting it into his mouth. "Mmmh, delicious! Miss Granger reminds you of yourself, doesn't she, Minerva?" he asked kindly.

His old friend looked up in surprise. "You are right again. Miss Granger reminds me in many ways of my younger self although I am lucky not to have suffered anything as horrible as she had." Minerva sighed again.

"The girl touches something inside me I didn't even know I was missing" she admitted after some minutes.

Albus reached out and pat her hand. "You never allowed yourself the joy of having a family" he said. "You dedicated yourself and your life to teaching and fighting, saying your pupils were your children. Yet sometimes it may happen that a certain student arrives who touches your parental feelings. Of course, as a teacher, one must not have preferences, but we are all human beings and it is natural to have sympathies."

"Did it happen to you?" Minerva asked curiously.

"Twice" Albus replied calmly. "And I am glad to say that both pupils are now my colleagues." And he smiled at his old friend.

Minerva's eyes grew big. "Me?" she whispered. "You never told me! And … hang on, you don't refer to Severus?"

"Ah, you know me too good" the headmaster said. "Indeed, I do. But you must not tell him, I know he won't like this. Or at least, that is what I think. It's getting late, I should finish those letters today."

"Very well. I shall check on Miss Granger before returning to my office to do my work for this day." Minerva stood up. "Thank you, Albus."

"You know I'm here if you need me" her old friend replied.

 _XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

 _~ tbc ~_

 _What do you say? Was this conversation realistic?_

 _I don't think that there are so many chapters left, maybe another 3-4 before this fanfic comes to an end. So, I hope to finish it this year but I prefer not to promise you – just in case._


	9. Visits

_Hey guys, here comes the next chapter. After this one, there will only be two more that need to be written, but I have the full content in my mind, so the story will be finished this year._

 _Reviews are very appreciated ;-)_

 _XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

Mr. Joseph Granger was sitting in his living room, growling at his absent niece. Two days ago, he had been released from hospital and now he was wearing an eye-patch over his left eye and a bandage at his shoulder. He would have never thought that his niece, the shy freak, would ever have dared to actually stab him with the knife as she had threatened. And now he would never be able to see again with both eyes. Rage was boiling within his chest while he was staring darkly at his television without following what was on it.

Suddenly, a huge black shadow swept down on him, lifted him quickly off the sofa and pressed him against the wall.

"So, you have dared to hurt an innocent girl who had been entrusted to your protection?" a dark and very dangerous voice hissed into his ear.

Mr. Granger was frozen of shock and fright.

"Answer me!" the horrible voice yelled, shaking him violently.

"I-I didn't mean to …" Mr. Granger stuttered, but suddenly something sharp was being pressed against his throat and a sudden pain shot through it. He gulped. Would the stranger kill him?

"Don't you dare lying to me" the intruder hissed threateningly. "I know what you did to her, I know you beat and abused her and threatened to kill her. Do you want to know how it feels to be at the mercy of someone? Do you want to experience real pain?"

Mr. Granger's heart was pounding against his ribs as if wanting to escape. "I-I …" he stuttered, fearing for his live and health.

The black shadow laughed, a terrible laughter that told Mr. Granger that the intruder was not at all amused. "Ah, you already seem to feel real fright" he whispered. "So, what shall I do with you? I could torture you until you beg me to kill you … I could kill you painfully … I could kill you with just one flick … what do you prefer?"

Mr. Granger's whole body was shaking uncontrollably, he could hardly breath and suddenly he wished he would have never touched his niece. Who was this stranger who had broken into his house without him noticing it? Normally, his house was well protected by an alarm system.

"Answer me!" the stranger hissed, shaking him so hard his head collided with the wall. "I could make you being arrested and locked away for the rest of your life. Do you know what the other prisoners will do to a child molester? You will wish that it had been me who dealt with you!"

"I-I … please" Mr. Granger begged.

"Oh, so you beg me to kill you quickly? Well, I won't do so" the horrible voice told him coldly. "Because this would allow you to forget about everything. No … I will report you and then we'll see how long you will last in prison. But first you will sign this form, saying that you will never get anywhere close to where your niece is."

The intruder let him go and Mr. Granger collapsed onto the floor.

"Get up, you filthy piece of shit!" the voice growled. "Sit down right here and sign the form!" A piece of paper and a pen were being put onto the table in front of his TV. Shaking violently, Mr. Granger pulled himself up from the carpet, approaching the sofa whilst watching the intruder who remained in the shadow nervously out of the corner of his eyes. His trembling hand reached for the pen and he signed the form without looking at it. The paper and the pen vanished seconds later. Mr. Granger stared at the empty table without understanding.

The stranger grabbed him around his neck, coming so close that he could smell some sort of bitter plant. Black, horrible eyes were staring into his in a way that Mr. Granger didn't dare to blink. "Very well" the voice whispered. "You will never try to get near your niece or you will die very slowly and painfully. Is this understood." Mr. Granger nodded hastily. "I didn't hear you."

"Yes, yes" Mr. Granger stuttered hastily.

"And if you ever touch another innocent child, no matter in which way, I will find you and then …" The intruder didn't finish his sentence. Instead, he strengthened his grip until Mr. Granger feared that his neck would break. Then, a second later, he was alone again.

It took Mr. Granger some moments to be able to move again, but when he had reached the window and looked outside, he could see nothing but the dark and empty road. When he tried later to watch the film of his monitoring, he had to realise that the camera hat been disturbed. There was no trace of the intruder.

 _XXXXXXXXXX_

Clutching the signed form in her hand, Minerva was walking quickly to the hospital wing. Severus has just seen her, telling her about his visit at Hermione's uncle and that he thought that this man would never ever try to get near Hermione or another child. This morning, Minerva had received two letters from the Magical Child Care. One was informing about the appointment for their interview with Hermione. The second one had contained the positive results of Minerva's request.

The elder witch felt a little nervous when she knocked at the door of the hospital wing, as she was about to offer Hermione herself as a foster mother.

"Enter" Poppy's voice called. "Oh, it's you" she said when Minerva stepped in. "The girl is in the quarantine room as I thought she'd need some privacy and peace. She is awake and has just eaten, you can see her."

"Thank you, Poppy." Minerva crossed the entrance and knocked softly at the door of the quarantine.

"Yes?" a small voice answered.

"It is me, professor McGonagall. May I enter?"

"O-okay."

Carefully, Minerva pushed open the door. "Hello, Miss Granger. How do you feel today?"

"Uhm, I'm okay."

Minerva watched the girl closely. No, she did not look okay, but she, Minerva, had not expected thus. "May I sit down?"

"Uhm, yes, of course." Shyly, Hermione made a gesture towards the only chair in the tiny room. She herself sat back onto the bed, looking expectantly and a little worried at her Head of House. The latter cleared her throat.

"Well, first of all I wanted to check on you because of your breakdown yesterday. I am very sorry for that, Miss Granger, I shouldn't have made all appointments for one day."

Hermione blushed heavily. "Uhm, it doesn't matter" she mumbled.

"Oh yes, it _does_ matter and if I could I would let you rest for today. But I've received a letter from the Magical Child Care with an appointment for and with you that needs to be discussed."

Hermione felt her heart thundering against her ribs. What could the Magical Child Care have written to professor McGonagall? Would she be forced to return to _him_? If so, she knew that she would rather kill herself than see him again. "An … an appointment?" she whispered hoarsely.

Seeing the fear in the girl's face, Minerva reached out and took Hermione's trembling hand into hers. "There is nothing to worry about, Hermione" she said reassuringly. "Mrs Wanneroo just wants to discuss the possibilities with you to make sure that you get a new guardian before the new term starts. Did you have the time to think about those two possibilities?"

Hermione rubbed her shoulder. "Not really. When will the appointment be?"

"The day after tomorrow at 10 a.m. at Mrs Wanneroo's office."

"Will … will you come with me?"

"If you wish, I will accompany you to the Ministry and to Mrs Wanneroo's office, but I will have to wait outside until you are done. I am sorry" Minerva went on as Hermione's face went very white "but as I am not your guardian, I am not allowed."

"But … but what shall I tell this woman?"

"If you'd rather stay at an orphanage or with a foster family."

"I … I don't know" the girl whispered, pressing her hands against her trembling lips.

Minerva cleared her throat again. "Hermione" she began. "If you permit me to make you an offer … I have written to the Magical Child Care to get the permission to do so, but if you prefer another solution I won't be angry. Yet, if you want to, you can stay with me as your foster mother and guardian."

"You … you can't be serious!" Hermione burst out. "I mean, I am a burden, a muggle-born freak, and you are a very talented witch, highly appreciated by the wizarding community! What will they say?"

"Well, they may talk whatever they want, I don't care as it is my wish to make you this very offer. And, Hermione, you are neither a burden nor a freak. Besides, I have already told you that my father was a muggle, too, a Presbyterian priest. You could stay at your dormitory during term and come with me to my little cottage at the northern coast of Scotland during holidays. I've got a spare room under the roof. It's not big but it is just next to my little library, so I think you'll like it. Of course, only if you wish to be with me." Minerva stopped talking, hoping she had not caught the girl unawares. What if she did not want to spend her time with a teacher?

A small smile appeared on Hermione's pale and tensed face. "I would really, really love to stay with you!" she breathed. "I would never have thought that someone like you would ever want to spend her time with a little muggle-born know-it-all like me! I would never have dared to dream of getting you as my foster mother!"

Suddenly, she jumped from her bed and flung her arms around Minerva's neck who, very surprised but also very pleased, returned the hug.

"So, we will go together to Mrs Wanneroo's office. You'll tell her your decision and if you want you can call me in so that we can fix the arrangement immediately. Would this be convenient for you?"

"Very. Thank you, professor."

"Hm, as you want to accept me as your foster mother, you should start to call me _Minerva_ , little one", the elder witch said.

"Uhm, okay, M-Minerva" Hermione replied with a little smile. Then, suddenly, she became very serious. "What if _he_ won't let me go?" she whispered hoarsely.

"Oh, he will" Minerva replied grimly. "You see, professor Snape has visited your uncle earlier this day and had a form signed that says that Mr. Joseph Granger relinquishes the position as your guardian and he will never come near you again. Look." And she showed the signed form to the shivering girl.

Hermione gulped as she saw the familiar signature. Then she read the form and it said precisely what professor McGonagall, no, Minerva had told her. She heaved a sigh of relief, wiping away the cold sweat on her forehead.

Thinking of her uncle raised her panic and fear immensely and it cost her so much to suppress the urge to run away and hide whenever _he_ was mentioned. _You are save_ , she told herself, _you will never see him again_. But this didn't stop the flashbacks nor the nightmares. Hermione knew that she would need to work this out, to talk about it, but at this moment she was not ready for it.

When a soft hand was being laid onto her shoulder, she managed not to jump. "Are you alright?" she heard Minerva's voice.

"Yes" Hermione lied, trying to act as if nothing was bothering her. But when she met her teacher's eyes she realised immediately that the elder witch knew the truth. Yet, Minerva did not press on.

"I suggest you move into my guest room until the appointment with the Magical Child Care will take place. I think you would appreciate to leave the hospital wing and I'd rather have you under supervision as long as madam Pomfrey does not say that you are fully recovered. I shall talk to her, if you wish."

Hermione nodded. Why not, she liked professor McGonagall, no, Minerva, and maybe it would stop her getting nervous to be in her company.

 _XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

 _~ tbc ~_

 _What do you say? Was the scene with the uncle and Snape realistic? Or was it complete bullshit? How about the conversation between Hermione and Minerva, did I catch their feelings?_

 _Besides, I'd like to know your opinion on something … I've got a very insistent plotbunny that keeps telling me to write down its story. Yet it will be again Hermione/Minerva friendship/drama, somehow like "Little Lioness" (well, Hermione will be of age, returning for her eighth year and her troubles will be slightly different). Would you be interested in reading such a fanfiction or do you say that one of this genre is enough?_


	10. Magical Child Care

_Sorry for the long break! Here comes the new chapter and I do hope that you like it._

 _I wish you all merry Christmas and hope you have a wonderful time with those whom you love :)_

 _XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

Minerva was pacing up and down the corridor in front of Mrs Wanneroo's office. This morning, she and Hermione had travelled via floo powder to the Ministry of Magic to attend to the, well, hearing was not quite correct. It was more a conversation. Mrs Wanneroo had greeted them and then taken Hermione with her, asking Minerva to wait outside until the two of them were finished. And now she was standing in this damn corridor for more than half an hour, getting more and more nervous with every minute passing by.

It's okay, she kept telling herself. Hermione has loads to talk about and the more she tells this lady, the better for her! The poor girl has gone through a living nightmare and now needs all the support she could get to heal.

Nevertheless, Minerva was very nervous although she tried to pretend to be as calm and professional as ever. When being earnest with herself, what she nearly always tried to be, she had to admit that her, well, mental condition was this jumpy because of the offer she had made Hermione and which the girl had accepted. To become her foster mother.

Merlin's beard! What on earth had driven her to that decision? Her, a mother? She had never had children and she hardly ever saw her nephew and niece. It was a completely different thing to teach children than to educate them at home, being the closest contact person of said child, even at a boarding school where the pupils lived during school term. Yes, she had been Head of Gryffindor House for a couple of decades by now and even if she seemed to be strict (which she was) and unapproachable (which only was due to her professionalism), she had always been willing to listen to her students' problems.

Minerva was passing the office's door for the thirty-forth time within fifty-two minutes. With great effort she stopped herself from putting her wish to eavesdrop into action. If Hermione wanted to tell her what she and Mrs Wanneroo have been talking about, she would do so.

A mother … and not only any mother but the mother of a brilliant, beautiful and very fragile little girl that needed much comfort, support and stability, and someone who really cared for her. Someone who loved her.

 _Well_ , Minerva thought, _that already is the case. I never admitted it, but I do love Hermione as if she was my own daughter._

A daughter! She, Minerva McGonagall, would have a daughter! A daughter for whom she would do everything to guarantee that she was well and could heal. Maybe she could find a psychologist for Hermione in the Muggle world as the wizarding world was very backward in such manners. She would have to talk to Hermione.

But first, she reminded herself, it would be necessary to make their arrangement officially. If only the office door would open! But it did not.

Minerva sighed and glanced at the big watch that hung at the wall opposite of her. She was now waiting for one hour exactly.

 _XXXXXXXXXX_

Hermione was biting her lips, shifting anxiously around on her chair, casting every now and then an eye on the door behind which professor McGonagall, no, Minerva was waiting for her. It has been nearly one hour since they had arrived at the Ministry and Mrs Wanneroo hat taken her to her office to talk to her, alone. Hermione had wanted to protest, insisting that Minerva would come with her but in the end, she had said nothing, following the woman into the small room, sitting down onto the chair in front of the overloaded table.

The talking seemed endless. First, Mrs Wanneroo had read the laws and other official stuff to her which Hermione already knew, thanks to Minerva who had explained everything to her. Then, the lady had once again told the girl which possibilities she had (what she also already knew, she had even made her decision which she had told Mrs Wanneroo at the very beginning!). But instead of protesting or asking, Hermione had listened wordlessly.

Finally, the Ministry's witch had offered Hermione some tea and cookies (which she refused) and looked earnestly at her.

"Well, Hermione, you have declared that your parents who had been your legal guardians have died in a car crash some days before Christmas, is this correct?"

The girl nodded, feeling sick.

"Your parents have appointed your uncle, Mr Joseph Granger, as your guardian in case that something might happen to them, which now is the case. Did you know that?"

Again, Hermione nodded. To just hear her uncle's name made her panic rise and she needed all her strength to remain on the chair, pretending she was alright.

"Differently than in the Muggle world, young witches and wizards have the right to decide on their own on their whereabouts from the age of twelve years which applies on you. You declared not wanting to live with your uncle. Is this correct?"

Hermione wanted to answer but her voice was gone, so she nodded again. Cold sweat covered her front and her hands were trembling. To hide this, she was clutching the seat squab of her chair so tight that her fingers felt numb. She really didn't like this woman.

"As you know, you have either the possibility to spend the remaining time until your seventeenth birthday in an orphanage or with a foster family. In the form you wrote that you want to have a foster family. We have a list of various wizarding families who …"

Hermione cleared her throat. "I have also written in said form that I want Minerva McGonagall as my foster mother" she said in a steady voice.

Mrs Wanneroo flicked through her papers. "Ah, yes, I found it. Mhm … mhm … As it seems, the Ministry has accepted professor McGonagall's offer. Well then, she is waiting outside the door, isn't she?"

"Yes, ma'am. Shall I …?"

"No, no, I will do it." Mrs Wanneroo stood up and walked to the door, opening it. "Mrs McGonagall?" she called. "Will you please enter?"

Hermione felt her heart racing like it wanted to escape her ribs. Her mouth was all dry, but she could not drink the offered tea as she felt so sick. For some reason, she did not dare to look up and meet Minerva's gaze as she heard her professor entering the office. Instead, she was staring at the carpet which was very dirty and ugly.

"Sit down, please" Mrs Wanneroo's voice said.

The chair next to Hermione's was moved backwards and forwards and then she felt Minerva's closeness. Suddenly, the girl felt the urge to through herself in the older woman's arms, but she suppressed this wish, continuing to stare at the carpet and to clutch her chair.

"Are you alright?" she heard Minerva's whisper.

Without thinking, she nodded, knowing that Minerva would not at all be convinced.

The elder witch threw one glance at the girl and knew immediately that Hermione was close to a breakdown. As much as she wanted to pull her in a close hug, she suppressed this wish and looked straight at the Ministry's witch. "So?" she said, wanting to get Hermione out of here.

"Well, so we will now fix your agreement and make it official, shall we?" Mrs Wanneroo said, laying down the forms that needed to be filled and signed by both witches. "So, we have here the underage child, named Hermione Jean Granger" she continued while dictating her quill the words to write down, "and in this line we have the foster mother whose name is Minerva McGonagall. Both parties have read and accepted the legal consequences and the responsibility. First, I need your signature" she addressed Minerva, pushing a second quill into her hand.

Lively, Minerva put her name into the section.

"Thank you. And you need to sign here, Hermione" she now talked to the girl who still refused to look up.

With a trembling hand, Hermione took the offered quill and wrote down her name. The form was gleaming in a golden light, then it pretended that nothing had happened.

"Very well. Your magical and legal connection is now fixed and official. From now on, you will be this girl's foster mother, Mrs McGonagall, and you are responsible for her until Miss Granger turns seventeen. You will also administer Miss Granger's inheritance and her monetary belongings until she is of age."

"That is what I read in the forms you sent to me" Minerva replied coolly. "Is there anything else that needs to be discussed?"

"Well, no" Mrs Wanneroo replied and wanted to continue but Minerva decided that Hermione needed to leave as soon as possible. She had glanced at the girl's face which was white as the wall and had also realized her suppressed trembling.

"Then we will leave as we still have to do some shopping. Thank you for your support, Mrs Wanneroo. If you need anything else, you know how to contact me. I wish you a good day." With these words, Minerva stood up, grabbed Hermione's hand and leaded their way out of the office.

Once standing in the side street in which the visitor's entrance to the Ministry was hidden, Minerva took a deep breath. "Finally!" she whispered, enveloping Hermione in a very tight hug. "Do you feel ready to apparate?" she asked the still trembling girl.

Hermione nodded. "Where are we going?"

Minerva smiled. "To my cottage in the north of Scotland. It is rather small, and we will have to cook by ourselves, but I assume that you need some rest and peace."

"That … that sounds great" Hermione replied. "But the shopping …"

"… was an excuse to get away from Mrs Wanneroo and the Ministry. I thought it wisest to get you out as soon as possible, you did not look well. You are still much too pale" she added, looking closely at Hermione. "This was really hard for you, wasn't it?"

"Yes."

"Come here." Minerva opened her arms wide and Hermione threw herself again into them, enjoying the closeness and warmth of the older woman who was now her foster mother. Suddenly, Hermione felt more calmly than ever before. Finally, Minerva released her.

"Ready to go?"

"Ready."

And with a turn, both witches were gone.

 _XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

 _Tbc._

 _The last chapter is already in my mind and "only" needs to be written. I can't promise you that I can do so until the end of this year, but I do hope that you'll be able to read it at least in January._

 _What do you say to this chapter? Was it realistic? Some of you have asked for more "insight" to Minerva's troubles about being a mother and I do hope that I managed to write them. Reviews are very appreciated :)_


End file.
